S<--MILE-->S

Can you imagine a world without a smile? It is like life without the soul. A few weeks ago, the thought for the day in one of our toastmaster’s sessions was “If you see someone without a smile, give him one of yours. Smile is the only precious possession that can be easily given to others. We started with nothing in this world and stop with nothing. The mile between the start and the stop is all we have to smile. We want only our smiles to be preserved in this world. That’s why the cry “cheese” before shooting a picture, so that the photographs have only smiles all over.

 

Smile is the best win-all gesture to your audience. The best aide at the time of meeting new people is a smile. Smile begets smile. The spontaneous response to a smile is a smile. Smile brings the inner beauty to the fore. That’s why we find some people very attractive for their smile, even if they are not very good looking. We can actually feel our mind expand when we smile and contract when we frown. Smile acts as an anti-agent to stress. A smiley face never gets stressed out. We can keep out negative feelings like anger and jealousy, by just choosing to smile. A smile need not always be shown on the lips. Even the mind is capable of smiling.

 

Often, we find that the smile is misused to ease the inconvenience that is otherwise being induced by the person. We find politicians, particularly in developing countries like India, going to the voters with a smile, even if they did not show their face to them for the 5 years they stayed in the public office. The good news is that smile still works even if it is misused. But ideally, a smile should be genuine – with the sole intent of making oneself and others happy and pleasant. Only such smiles get the best return. An overconfident smile makes one look arrogant and a purposeless smile makes one look crazy. A genuine smile can be easily distinguished from an Amway smile or a contrived grin.

 

Smile, like other gestures, should best be a reflex. For it to become a reflex, it needs to be practiced. Practice getting easier, light-hearted thoughts in the mind, and the smile automatically appears, first in the mind and if required on the lips. The more we practice this, the more it gets built into our system and appears as a reflex. As we practice this, we will also notice that life gets easier and happier as well. Our surroundings look brighter and our neighbors start looking like our best friends once again. That’s the kind of difference it makes when the lips are stretched about half-an-inch!!

 

I am pretty sure that some of you must be thinking that these things are easier said than done. True, life is not easy. Day-to-day activities put a lot of demand on the mind and pull it down with very heavy thoughts. We often find that the day just cannot progress without such thoughts. The solution I found for this problem is to prioritize and choose. For instance, decide to smile to yours kids instead of thinking of winning an argument with your neighbor. Choose to read a comic instead of thinking on how to outwit colleagues at work. Engage in a social activity over the weekend, instead of earning that extra buck by teaching at the school.

True, not doing some of these things will cost us something. But we should be ready to pay that price for better life in the long run. That is the kind of trade-off that we need to do, to get back that child-like smile and look back on our face. We should do only as much as can keep us and others happy. It is not worth doing that extra bit by cutting into our happiness and our ability to smile. Remember? The mile that’s between start and stop is to smile and not to accumulate. After all, we don’t take anything that we accumulate with us when we stop. Why waste the mile for something that is anyway not useful?

 

So, here’s my recommendation to all of you to smile and make me smile!!

TO LIE OR NOT TO LIE

“Whatever I tell is a lie.” This famous Russell’s paradox was used by the cruise captain in one of the episodes of Star Trek to crash a robot. The robot could not comprehend the sentence and crashed in trying to do so. Imagine living in a world where nothing is known to be true for sure. The same thing that happened to the robot will happen to the civilization as well. Truth and trust are the foundations of our civilization and our togetherness. It is almost impossible to live with a person or persons if what they say is mostly lies – white or not.

 

“Truth is light” was the motto of our school in which I studied for 12 years. I grew up listening to stories of heroes who never told lies and punished those who did. Fortunately, I was gifted with all that was needed for me to always tell the truth. There were hardly any instances in my childhood, which would have put me in a better position if I lied. I was quite a contented person for most of the first 25 years of my life. Also, I hardly came across people who were habitual liars. Lying was more a rare exception than the norm those days. Then started a new phase in life, when most of what I heard was lies – the so-called white lies. I knew they were lies, but could not do anything about it. My feelings ranged from indifference to frustration.

 

The first time I realized that lies are a way of life was actually in a course on professionalism. I walked away from the course with the feeling that it is impolite to be direct. Everything had to be told in very indirect and subtle ways. White lies are the norm than the exception. It was very hard for me to come to terms with this new realization. The course helped me a lot in accepting lies and liars from then on. My reaction then started to range from laughter to indifference. Laughter because when someone tells an obvious lie, I picture a cat closing its eyes when drinking milk thinking that no one is watching it. I feel the person telling a white lie is fooling himself rather than fooling others. In fact some of such lies expose the liar’s lack of something, which would otherwise not have been exposed.

 

After all these years of seeing the world, I came to a conclusion that the society has degenerated to a state where it is impossible to live without the help of lies. From the times when truth was the only known way of life, the society has now come to a stage when there are courses, which teach lying as a way of life. One of the main reasons for this shift seems to be the growth of false ego. There are people who like to boast about things they don’t have and there are people who do not like to hear bad things about themselves. Both of these growing classes of people contribute to the lies.

 

The other major contribution to lies and the way of life at any time is the governance. Impractical rules, unreasonable laws, indifferent bosses all contribute to the lies. Take for example, the use tax. I never bought anything that will trigger a use tax, but I’m borrowing this example from a recent article in the Mercury News. The government seems to be making a pun on the penalty of perjuries clause by asking the taxpayers to declare the use tax under penalty of perjury. One of the main reasons for illegal immigration and visa fraud is because of impractical immigration laws. Government plays a major role in the degeneration or regeneration of a society, just like the management plays a major role in the success or failure of a company.

 

In spite of all the external factors, to lie or not to lie is still a personal choice. I personally prefer and advocate silence to lying or telling an uncomfortable truth. For example, Bill Clinton could have just remained silent about his private life and refused to testify in public about a matter that is so private to him. It will then be inappropriate and unprofessional on part of the demanding opposition to press him to speak. Tact, rather than a lie, I believe will save a situation. Lying, at best would invoke laughter and at worst frustration as it happened in Bill Clinton’s case. I now return the control to you on this topic of whether to lie or not to lie. It is your choice now.